


Walk on Water or Drown

by spideybabeparker



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Marvel, the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 02:06:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16672705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideybabeparker/pseuds/spideybabeparker
Summary: After finding out Bucky got Zoey pregnant with in the first month of them dating, he does everything in his power to keep her safe. Even if that means hiding her away from everyone he cares about.





	1. Chapter 1

I can’t help but wonder if I knew what I knew now if I would go back and do things differently seven months ago. Part of me would like to say I would change everything, but then the other part of me wouldn’t change anything. I was six months pregnant and living in a safe house hidden from the world. I had met Bucky a little over seven months ago and within the two weeks of knowing him we started sleeping together and that’s how I ended up in this situation. We started out just casually dating, but everything changed when he found out he knocked me up. He kind of held me at arm’s length and ask me to stay in a safe house with him.  
Sitting at the kitchen table I had a cup of chamomile tea in front of me. I was blankly staring at a book on the table that I had been trying to read. I was bored out of my mind and waiting for Bucky to arrive so I would have someone to talk to. Most of my days were spend reading random books or baking. It wasn’t like I had much to do in the small apartment on the outskirts of town.  
When Bucky found out I was pregnant he kind of panicked. He was terrified of Hydra tracking down his child and hurting them or taking them. So, his plan was for no one to know about me. Not even his Avengers team mates knew about me. I didn’t understand how he planned to keep the baby hidden after it was born, but honestly, I didn’t even know if he was going to be in the baby’s life. We weren’t nearly as close as we had been when we were dating and I didn’t even know if we were actually still together at this point. Bucky treated me like I was made of glass and didn’t even touch me anymore. Half the nights he would sleep on the couch and I would take the room. I’m pretty sure he resents me for getting pregnant. He wasn’t abusive at all physically or emotionally. He just wasn’t there like he used to be.  
When I was younger and imagined myself pregnant I always thought I would maybe be married or at least in a long-term relationship where I was happy. I sure as hell never expected to get knocked up by a guy I didn’t know that well. I definitely didn’t expect to have to hide away from the world during my pregnancy.  
The door opening brings me out of my thoughts. Looking up I find Bucky slowly walking in. He doesn’t even bother saying anything to me he just walks right off towards bathroom.  
Looking down at my book I listen quietly to hear if the shower is going to start running. Within moment I hear the water and just shake my head a little at how predictable he had grown.  
Glancing at the clock I see it’s six thirty and I realized that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Closing my book, I slowly stand up and stretch a little bit. Slowly I walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge to find something to cook for us for dinner.  
I started pulling together the stuff to make up pasta. I was in my own little world cooking when I heard Bucky walk towards me.  
“Hey Bucky,” I said speaking first.  
“How’s the baby?” he asked looking down at quite round stomach.  
“They’re doing good,” I reached down and rested my hand on my stomach. In the last few days I had seemed to pop. I had made the choice in the beginning that didn’t want to know if I was having a boy or a girl. I wanted to be surprised when they were born. “I have a doctor’s appointment in three days,” I looked up to try to judge his reaction. He had never gone to an appointment with me because he didn’t want anyone to know he was having a child.  
“I leave for a mission in two day,” he sighed leaving against the table.  
I didn’t want him to go on this mission but it wasn’t my place to ask him to stay. I knew him going away was part of the job, but the further along I got in this pregnancy the less I liked being alone. Even if when he was home we didn’t interact much. I just liked the safe feeling of having someone here with me.  
“How long is the mission going to be?” I asked as I started plating our dinner.  
He ran his fingers through his long hair and sighed, “It’s going to be three days. If you don’t feel safe I can move you into the Avengers compound and have you guarded.”  
I knew deep down that wasn’t an option. He didn’t want even his team mates knowing about me. The whole point of this safe house was to keep me a secret.  
“I can go stay with my sister and her husband if you don’t feel safe with me living alone.”  
My sister, her husband and my mother were the only person who knew I was having a child other than Bucky. The only thing they didn’t know was who was the father. I lied to both of them and just told them it was a guy I had a one-night stand with.  
“I would feel better you staying with your sister,” he said reaching over grabbing the plate of pasta I sat in front of him.  
“Okay I call her and tell her I’m gonna visit for three days. I’ll ask her to go to the doctors with me.”  
Walking over I sat down at the kitchen table across from him. We ate in awkward silence. I had no clue how we had actually got to this point in our lives. We were the complete opposite of when we had first started dating, and honestly, I hated it with a passion. I missed what we use to have so much. Even if it was causal and fun at least I felt like he really cared about me.  
Looking down at my food as I slowly ate I could feel his icy blue eyes staring at me.  
“Will you keep me updated while I’m away?”  
I was caught off guard by him seeming as if he cared about me all the sudden. I knew deep down he cared about me but he never acted like he did anymore.  
Nodding my head, and softly said, “of course.”  
The night went by quickly and before bed I went to take a quick shower. After showering I went off to our bedroom. I found Bucky laying on the bed on top of the covers, he had a book in his hand and seemed very lost in whatever he was reading. I didn’t bother saying anything to him I just crawled into my side of the bed. I looked over at Bucky who didn’t even knowledge the fact I had gotten into bed. Turning onto my side so my back was facing him. Reaching over turned off my light that was on the nightstand by me.  
“Goodnight Bucky,” I said closing my eyes  
“Goodnight Zoey,” he whispered.


	2. Once upon another time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Zoey start to grow even more distant.

_He walked into my apartment and didn’t bother saying anything he just roughly connected his lips to mine. I couldn’t help the moan that passed my lips as he reached for the button on my jeans._  
Pulling his lips away from mine he started kissing down my jaw towards my neck.  
“It’s good to see you too Bucky,” I joked as he nipped at my neck.  
“I want to show you how much I missed you,” he murmured against my neck.  
He had just gotten back from a two day mission and came straight over to my place. We had been barely sleeping together less then a week and he came straight to my place to rip off my clothes.  
A moan passed my lips as he bit then licked my neck. He pulled away with a smirk on his face as he pulled down my jeans.  
“Get naked,” he all but growled.  
Slowly I started unbuttoning my blouse and said, “what no please?”  
He raises his and stepped towards me putting his lips by my ear and whispered, “pretty please.”  
A shiver went down my spine at his words. I was silent as I started to take my clothes off. Bucky smirked as he made quick work of getting his own clothes off.  
The second we were both naked he connected his lips to mine again but this time much more gentle. Our lips danced as he slowly moved us toward the back of my couch.  
Pulling his lips away from mine he smiled and said, “bend over and hold on to the couch.”  
I was silent and just gave him a nod. I bend over and rested my hands on the back of the couch and turned back to see Bucky kneeling behind me. I took a deep breath anticipating what was about to happen.  
His metal hand gripped my ass as I slowly felt his tongue run along my slit. I couldn’t help that loud moan that passed it lips at the sensation of his tongue on me. He skillfully used his tongue on my sensitive numb and worked to add his fingers to the mix. It didn’t take much work before I all but screaming his name as he sent me over the edge.  
“I see you enjoyed that,” he said as I was a panting mess. “I hope your ready for another one.”  
I turned back to see him grinning as he lined up with my entrance. He was never this dominant but god was I a fan of it. He rolled his hips into mine and moaned loudly as I gripped the back of the couch tightly. We had had sex quite a bit in the last week but we had never done it outside the bedroom, and this was an experience for the books.  
Tightly he gripped my hips as he slowly thrust into me over and over again. The slow pace was killing me but it felt so deliciously good I didn’t want it to stop.  
“Bucky,” I moaned loudly as I was getting close to the edge again.  
“Baby girl,” he groaned thrusting harder.  
I could tell he was starting to get closer because he was getting slightly sloppy.  
“I’m close,” I whined.  
He thrusted into me a few more times before sending me over he edge.  
I screamed his name probably loud enough that my neighbors were probably familiar with his name and he thrust into me probably five more times when he finished.  
Resting my elbows on the back of the couch panting I closed my eyes trying to steady my breath. I felt his warm lips press a kiss on my lower back as he pulled out of me.  
“I missed you,” he sighed.  
“I missed you too.”  
———————  
I sat in my sisters spare bedroom just thinking about the night I managed to make a baby with Bucky. It probably would have been a smart idea to maybe remind him to use a condom, but my dumb ass was so caught up in the moment I didn’t think about it. We had unprotected sex in my living room like a couple of horny teenagers instead of the smart adults we should have been.  
The bedroom door opening snapped me out of my thoughts. Looking up I found my sister standing at the foot of the double bed I was sitting on.  
“You know you can always come and move in with Henry and I right,” Lyla said sitting down on the edge of the bed.  
She had brought this up before and even my mom suggested I moved back home after they found out about my unexpected pregnancy. They had just assumed I had been living alone. They didn’t know about the whole me living in a safe house with Bucky situation.  
“I’m gonna be fine,” I lied. I had no clue I was gonna be fine. Hell I didn’t even know what was going to happen after I had this baby.  
“Well If you ever want to move in please don’t hesitate to ask. Henry and I will move you in no questions asked.” She was my older sister and she always tried her best to look after me and this was her way of doing it.  
“Thank you Lyla,” I smiled. I hated lying to her about the Bucky situation but honestly I didn’t have a choice.  
“How did the doctors go today?”  
“It went well the little one is very healthy and strong,” I said as rested my hand on my stomach.  
“That’s great Zoey. I can’t wait to be an aunt,” she smiled.  
—————  
My time with Lyla went by quickly and soon enough it was the day Bucky was coming home from his mission. I left Lyla and Henry’s house in the morning and did the forty-five minute drive to my apartment I shared with Bucky. I knew I should be arriving at the apartment before Bucky but honestly I want a little bit of time to adjust to be back in the safe house before he joined me.  
Walking inside took my duffle bag of clothing and carried it off to my bedroom I sometimes shared with Bucky. I sat on my side of the bed and reached inside and pulled out the book I had been reading and sat it on my nightstand. I headed off into the kitchen to find something to make myself for breakfast. Before I could even open the refrigerator I heard the front door open. I looked up to find Bucky staring at me.  
“I didn’t expect you home so early.” I sighed.  
“We got back earlier then expect, and I was hoping you would be home.” He said as he slowly walked towards me.  
I leaned against the kitchen counter and studied him for a moment. He had the same look on his face he use to have when we sleeping together when he would come home from missions. He looked like he wanted to rip my clothes off but at the same time he looked scared.  
“You okay Bucky?” I asked trying to figure out was going on in his mind.  
Slowly he nodded his head as he scratched the back of his neck with his flesh hand. “Yeah I was just worried about you.”  
“I’m okay. I was safe the whole time you were gone,” I sighed.  
“Why didn’t you reach out to me while I was gone?” he sounded hurt by the fact I didn’t text or call when he was away. This was the first time he had ever asked me to stay in contact and didn’t even bother reaching out to him because I didn’t think he honestly cared.  
Shrugging my shoulders I said, “I guess I didn’t think you would mind if I didn’t reach out.”  
He pushed his eyebrows together and took a step towards me before suddenly stopping before taking another, “I worried about you the whole time I was gone.”  
I couldn’t figure out what was going on in his mind. He looked like he want to hug me or something but at the same time his face looked scared. It was almost as if he was afraid he was going to break me.  
“You were worried about me?” I asked because I honestly thought he didn’t care about me at all in more.  
He nodded his head.  
“I’ll contact you next time,” I pursed my lips together.  
“Thank you.”  
“Are you hungry?” I asked attempting to cut some of the tension that had formed between the two of us.  
“Yeah I am.”  
“Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll make breakfast?” I knew when he got home from missions the first thing he always liked to do was shower. I was also attempting get him to just leave the room so I could have a moment to gather myself after whatever had just happened between us.  
“Alright,” he said before walking down the hallway to the bathroom.  
The day went by quickly after we ate breakfast. Bucky spent most of it at home reading while I sat in the living room watching cheesy romantic comedies. Bucky started reading at the kitchen table and then moved to sitting next to me on the couch.  
The movie had just ended that I was watching and looked over at the clock to see that it was ten at night. The day had seemed to fly by and it was already time for bed.  
“I’m gonna go to bed,” I sighed as I stood up slowly stretching.  
“Alright I’ll be in later,” he said glancing up from my book.  
I headed off to bed and did my nightly routine crawled into bed. I was exhausted and knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake long. I was attempting to wait for Bucky to come to bed but before he could get in bed I fell asleep.  
The sound of rain outside my bedroom window woke me. Slowly I reached over for Bucky but was greeted to an empty bed. Looking over at my alarm clock I saw it was three in the morning. He should have been in bed hours ago.  
Slowly I got out of bed and walked into the living room to see that Bucky was sound sleep on the couch. He had gotten dressed for bed and got blankets and made himself a bed on the couch. It made my heart hurt to see that he would rather sleep on the couch then with me.  
Walking back into our room I slowly crawled back into bed attempting to fight off the tears that were fighting to cry. I didn’t want to cry over him but here we were. Closing my eyes I drifted off to sleep heart broken.


	3. She used to be mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is acting more distant and Zoey is left wondering how long she can stick around.

_Lying in bed naked curled up to Bucky I couldn’t help but smile. My head was resting on his chest and I was, enjoying my last few minutes of bliss before he left to go on another mission. He had only been home two days between missions and I was trying to spend as much time as I possibly could with him.  
Aimlessly he I felt his cool metal finger draw random circles on my freckled covered back. We could of laid in bed for hours and I wouldn’t care.  
I sat up quickly at the feeling that I was gonna throw up. I didn’t say anything I just jumped out of bed grabbed my robe that was on the floor, and ran off to the bathroom and started puking.  
With my head in the toilet I heard the bathroom door open and felt a warm hand on my back as I continued to puke.  
Lifting my head I found him giving me a caring smile. “You okay Zoey?” he asked.  
“Yeah I think the sushi I ate yesterday was bad.”  
Standing up I put the lid down on the toilet down and sat down as he leaned against the counter.  
“I have to leave for my mission right now but I don’t want to leave you while you’re throwing up.”  
“I’m fine I just ate something bad,” I stood up and walked towards him.  
“Are you sure?”  
I nodded and he gave me a smile.  
“Alright let me know if you start feeling sick while I’m away,” he reached over and pulled me into his chest.  
“I will,” I smiled. _  
——————————  
He hadn’t slept in bed with me in a week and I laid in bed staring at his side of the bed. He had been at work for probably four hours and I just couldn’t seem to get out of bed. I couldn’t bring myself to want to get out of bed. I felt oddly broken about him not even being able to share a bed with me anymore. All my wild emotions I was having probably had something to do with pregnancy hormones, but I didn’t care. I was so hurt. I didn’t know what I did to push him away like I had seemed to do with me not messaging him while he was gone.  
I don’t know why I was even putting up with him at the moment. Maybe I should take my sister up on her offer and move in with her and give Bucky Scott free pass out to this mess we were living in.  
Soon I wouldn’t need anyone other then me and this baby. They were gonna be there for me no matter what and I was gonna be there for them.  
I wanted to crawl out of bed and start packing my bags but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to try to fix whatever was wrong with Bucky and I even though I didn’t even know what had went wrong.  
I spent most of the day just wallowing in self pity. I had only got out of bed to eat lunch, and as soon as I finished I crawl back in bed to laying around in silence.  
I hated that all the sudden I was in this state of just feeling bad for myself. I knew damn well I could fix this by getting out of bed and leaving Bucky, but for some reason I was in love with him and couldn’t bring myself to leave. Even I could barely admit to myself I loved him, I knew I did. Maybe that’s why I truly stuck around through this situation. Maybe that was also why I was so okay with the fact I was bringing a child into to the world. It was with someone I loved, even if they sure as hell didn’t love me back.   
————————  
 _Staring at the pregnancy test it became very obvious that this wasn’t food poisoning. The two pink lines indicated that Bucky and I had indeed made a child.  
I wanted to throw up at the fact that was pregnant. I sat cross legged on the floor in the bathroom and just stared at the pink stick hoping the outcome would be different.  
Bucky was do home today and knew I needed to tell him but I was afraid of how he was going to take this. We were technically dating but it was more causal then anything. I don’t even think he considered me to be his girlfriend.  
Reaching into my front pockets of my pants I pulled out my phone and texted Bucky.  
Zoey: Hey when you get home do you wanna come by?  
I was hoping my text came off as the same way they normally did. I didn’t want him to think something was wrong by text message. I didn’t want him to find out I was pregnant via text.  
I didn’t do much the rest of the day waiting around for Bucky. I watched a movie and just lounged around waiting for him to come to my place.  
A couple of hours later I was sitting on the couch in the living room Bucky walked into my apartment and gave me a smile. Normally when he would first get back from missions we always had sex, but this time was different and I think he knew that the moment he saw me.  
“You okay?” he asked walking straight to the couch.  
I shook my head I was trying to gather up the nerves to tell him that we had made a human life.  
“So Bucky it turns out I didn’t eat bad sushi…” I paused and glanced over at him to see that he had a confused look on his face. “I don’t exactly know how to say this, but I’m pregnant…” my heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up. Looking over at Bucky he looked like I had just told him someone killed Steve. All the color washed from his face and he stared at me like I told him I was going to die any moment.  
“We need to move you out of here,” he said speaking up for the first time.  
I pushed my eyebrows together and was extremely confused on why I needed to move out. He seemed as if he was going into panic mode all the sudden.  
“What?” I questioned  
Standing up he started pacing in front of me, “We need to move you into a safe house with me. I don’t want people to find out I’m having a child. I’m still considered and asset of Hydra and I don’t want them coming for you or my child.”He seemed like all the sudden he wasn’t my Bucky anymore. He went into to fill protector mode and I didn’t like it. “I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”  
I stood up and walked towards him and stared at him for a long moment. Our eyes were locked and I could tell that he seemed genuinely afraid. Wrapping my arms around him he held me close and whispered, “we can make this work.”_  
——————  
I heard the front door open and I snapped me out of my self wallowing. I didn’t bother getting out of bed and just laid on my side waiting to see if Bucky was going to come look for me. Moments later I heard footsteps and looked up to see Bucky staring at me with a confused look on his face.  
“Did you get out of bed today?”  
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I didn’t even want to talk to him at the moment.  
“Have you ate?”  
I nodded my head.  
He pushed his eyebrows together and took a step towards me.  
“Why aren’t you talking to me?” he asked standing next to the bed.  
I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t have anything to say to him. If he was gonna he distant towards me, I felt like I had the right to be distant towards him.  
“I’ll cook dinner,” he turned on his heels and walked out of the room.  
Closing my eyes I slowly rolled over so I was facing away from the door. I didn’t want to get out of bed and pretend everything was okay and have dinner with him. I actually preferred to not see him anymore today. My preferred situation was for me to just go back to sleep.  
Reaching over to my nightstand I grabbed my phone. I contemplated texting Lyla asking for her and Henry to come pick me because I wasn’t sure I could do this anymore. I couldn’t care so deeply for someone who didn’t care about me anymore. I knew if contacted Lyla I was going to have to explain the fact that I wad living in a random apartment with a man who was a stranger to her. That in its self would be a huge mess that I didn’t want to deal with.  
I must of stared at Lyla’s contact info for twenty minutes when I heard Bucky walk back into the room.  
“I’m not much of a cook or anything but I made pasta,” he said walking over to my side of the bed. I looked up to see him holding a tray with pasta on it.  
Slowly I sat up and he handed me the tray. He seemed to be putting in effort to make me happy at the moment and I didn’t know why.  
“Thank you,” I said speaking to him for the first time today.  
He gave me a smile before he walked out of the room. I just sighed at him leaving me again.  
Before I could even take a bite he walked into the room holding his own bowl of pasta and two bottles of water. Reaching over he handed me one before sitting on his side of the bed next to me.  
I was confused by his sudden desire to be next to me, and why he was trying to make me happy.  
We ate in silence for a while before Bucky clearer his throat, “so I’m I passed on this mission this week so I could stay home with you.”  
I knitted my eyebrows in confusion at the fact that he was passing on a mission to stay home with me. We barely spent any time together anymore it didn’t make much sense for him to stay home. If things were like that had been before I was pregnant I wouldn’t think anything about him wanting to stay home with me. It would of meant back then that we would probably spend most the time in bed together not wanting to get dressed.  
“You’re staying home for me?” I asked speaking up.  
“Yeah I don’t want you home alone, also I was thinking maybe we could spend some time together.”  
He seemed to be going out of his way to avoid me recently so the fact he was saying he wanted to spend time with me was really throwing me off.  
“Maybe tonight we could lay in here and have a movie night?” he said as he sat his dish next to him on the bed.  
“Sure,” I said just confused on what was going on.  
Jumping out of bed he grabbed his dish and mine and headed off towards the kitchen and living room area. He was only gone a couple minutes before he walked back into the room with a dvd in hand. He made quick work of turning the tv on that we had sitting on the dresser at the end of the bed that we rarely used and put the dvd in. The main menu popped on and I m saw that he picked out one of my favorite beach movies from the sixties that had Frankie Avalon in it.  
A small smile formed on my lips at the fact that he knew this was one of my favorite movies. I don’t think I had ever told him that. He must of just noticed by the fact that I had watched it a couple times since we lived together.  
He pressed play and crawl back into bed. He sat with his back against the headboard and got comfortable as the movie started. I laid on my side watching it but I kept getting distracted by him. I was attempting to just read his body Language. He didn’t seem as tense as he normal did sitting by me. At the moment he seem extremely relaxed just enjoying the movie. Maybe him seeing me sad changed something in him. Seeing him so relaxed made me feel really relaxed myself.  
Looking up at him with heavy eyes I found him looking at me with a smile on his face.  
“Bucky,” I whispered.  
“Yeah Zoey?”  
“Thank you for spending the evening with me. I really needed this,” I whispered closing my eyes.  
“I needed this too,” was the last thing I heard him say before I fell asleep.  
When the morning light woke me I looked over to see Bucky was no where to be seen. I sighed and crawl out of bed. Slowly I walked into the living room to find him sound asleep on the couch and I just groaned. I thought something might of changed last night but maybe we just took a baby step in the right direction.  
Walking off into the kitchen I started pulling out the stuff to make pancakes. Since Bucky turned down his mission I knew he was going to be home for a few days so that meant we should try to make more baby steps.  
I whipped up a batch of pancakes and made a cup of herbal tea for myself and a cup of coffee for Bucky. As I was getting ready to make a tray up for him he walked into the kitchen yawning and stretching.  
My eyes couldn’t help but wondering his extremely tone body.  
“I made pancakes,” I said holding a plate out for him.  
“Thank you,”he said with a soft smile. My goal was for over the next few days was to take as many baby steps in the right direction as possible.


	4. I meant everything I said that night

_I had worked in the same bookstore for the last three years. I loved my job I got to spend days surrounded by books and lovely people that loved books as well. It was a job that was basically made for me. It also didn’t hurt that there was coffee shop that was next door.  
Two weeks ago, two extremely handsome men started coming into the book store while I was working. They came in together twice week and it also seemed to be when I was working. I looked forward to seeing them come in. They were always so friendly and quite flirty, but they were just charming so I assumed it was just their personality. I recognized them both the first time they came in. Steve Roger aka Captain America was more recognizable, but for some reason I couldn’t help but want to get to know Bucky more. I guess it has to do more with the mystery that surrounded him.  
I was surprised when one day Bucky came into the bookstore alone.  
“Hello Bucky,” I stated as he walked into the aisle I were I was putting books away.  
“Hey Zoey,” he smiled as he reached down and handed me a book I was reaching for.  
“Where’s Steve?” I asked picking up another book.  
“Well he stayed behind,” he said reaching for the book I was holding. I just stared at him confused on why he reached for the book I was holding. “I have a question to ask you,” he said awkwardly.  
I gave him a smile and sat the book and looked over at him wondering on what he wanted to talk to me about.  
“Would you go out with me?” he shoved his hands into his jeans and gave me a cute smile.  
I was caught off guard by the fact he had just asked me out. He always flirted with me but didn’t think he actually liked me. I thought he was just a flirty person.  
“I would love to go out with you,” I smiled.  
“Alright how about I pick you up tomorrow after work?”  
I nodded, “Yeah that would be great.”_  
—  
Walking out of the shower I was caught off guard to sound of Bucky singing along to some old song that was playing in the living room. Stopping in my tracks I listened for a moment and couldn’t help but smile and listen for a moment.  
Walking into our bedroom slowly got dressed and headed off into the living room to find Bucky standing in the kitchen making dinner.  
A smile formed on my lips and I said, “I don’t think I have ever heard you sing.”  
He shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t tend to sign around anyone.”  
“Did you need help cooking dinner?” I asked walking closer to him.  
He nodded and gave me a smile.  
We worked together preparing dinner for us. I could feel his eyes burning into me as we cooked together. Glancing over at him I tilted my head to the side and asked, “what’s up Bucky?”  
“Nothing,” he quickly looked away and went back to cutting the veggies that were in front of him.  
“Why do you keep staring at me?” I asked.  
Setting the knife down her was holding he turned and looked at me. He stared at me as if he was attempting to figure out what he wanted to say to me. I wanted to shake him and tell him he didn’t have to be closed off or worry about telling me what he as actually thinking. I wanted him to know I needed to know what was going on in his head.  
“Bucky,” I whispered.  
His icy blue eyes locked on mine, “I just noticed how much your body has changed. You’ve seemed like you’ve popped.”  
I couldn’t help but smile at his words. It made me happy that he seemed to be paying attention to me and what was happening with my body.  
“Yeah in the last two weeks my body has seemed to pop,” I moved my left hand and slowly rested it on my growing body. We rarely talked about the baby, and the fact that he brought up made me feel like we were moving in the right direction.  
—  
 _  
Walking into my apartment holding hands I turned and gave him a smile. I never actually took a single date home on the first date before in my life. I had actually only slept with two guys in my life, and I knew Bucky was about to be the third person. I felt suddenly nervous at the idea we were going to have sex, I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about my curvy body. The way he had been looking at me all night made me feel extremely wanted.  
When he picked me up tonight I had no intentions of ever taking him home. I just planned on us going out to dinner and maybe going on a walk around the city. I planned at most for us to hold hands and then end the night with a kiss, but damn did Bucky know how to use his lips. I hadn’t expected him to be so honest with me about his brainwashing and about Hydra turning him into the Winter Solider. I could tell that he was worried about me finding out that he had been turned into a killing machine or as he said they called him the ‘asset’. His honesty let to me telling him all about how the last guy I slept with informed me I should lose weight after we had just had sex.  
I hadn’t told him about me being self-conscious about my body to have him compliment me, I told him because I wanted to be honest with him since he had been so honest with me.  
Stepping into my living Bucky reached behind him and shut the door slowly. I took a step away from him held my hands in front of him awkwardly. I wasn’t use to doing this by any means, the first guy I had slept with was my high school boyfriend William. The second guy was Dennis from the coffee shop I use to go to. He was the asshole who told me I should lose weight. For some reason I continued to date him two weeks after and even have sex with him again.  
“I don’t normally do this,” I whispered as he took a step towards me.  
“I haven’t done this in like forty years,” he joked.  
“Well I’m honored,” I smiled as he stood an inch away from.  
“Can I kiss you again?”  
I nodded my head, “I invited you upstairs I expected us to do more than kissing.”  
He gave me one last smile before he connected his lips to mine. His soft lips tasted of minty chapstick and his callused hands rest on cheeks as he was holding me close as our lips danced together. I couldn’t understand how a man that was brainwashed could be such an amazing kisser. Holding my eyes closed I wrapped my arms around his tone body pulling him close to me. His metal hand moved from my cheek down to my waist. Slowly he moved my shirt up and rest the metal hand on my bare skin sending a shiver down my spine at the sensation.  
We parted with smiles on both of our faces, I took my bottom lip into my teeth as I stared him. I could see the lust in his eyes.  
Tilting my head to the side he connected his lips to my jaw and sprinkled wet kisses across my skin. My eyes about rolled back in my head at the sensation. “Lets go to my room,” I murmured as his lips continued to moved against my pale skin.  
Without a word his pulled his lips away from me, and grabbed my hips and lifted me like I literally weight nothing. I wrapped my legs around his waist holding onto him. I couldn’t help but be caught off guard by his strength, he had told me that when Hydra experimented on him they made him a super solider but I didn’t actually know what that fully meant.  
The moment we reached the bedroom he tossed me lightly onto the bed. Biting his bottom lip he stripped himself of his shirt. I took that as my cue to start taking off my own clothes. I pulled my sweater off leaving myself in a floral bra that definitely didn’t match my panties. If I knew I was going to sleep with him tonight I would of at least planned to maybe have them match. I proceeded to kick off my flats as he started walking to the end of the bed he grabbed my ankles and pulled me towards the end of the bed. I don’t think I had ever been more turned on in my life by the way he could just move me around like I literally weighted nothing. My legs dangled off the edge of the bed and reached up and unbuttoned my jeans. He pressed his lips to mine for one hot kiss before pulling away to strip off my jeans.  
I laid on the bed in front of him in just my bra and underwear and my eyes were locked on his tone body as he kicked off his boots and started taking off his jeans.  
Standing in front of me with just boxer-briefs on my mouth watered at the sight of his body that seemed to be craved from stone. I knew he was in the military back in the forties so I knew he had to be in shape for that, but I couldn’t help but wonder what part the super solider serum played into him having this body. Looking up at him I found his lust filled eyes on my curvy body and I suddenly became very aware of how on display my body was.  
“God you’re beautiful,” he sighed as he started crawling on the bed.  
I couldn’t even say anything, I wasn’t even sure what I should say. I don’t think I have ever in my life had a man look at me the way he looked at me. The way his eyes ran across my body he looked like he was a starving man who hadn’t eaten in years and I was going to be his meal. Crawling over me he was left hovering right over me. He wasted no time connecting his lips to mine for a kiss. We made out like we needed each other to breath, and at that exact moment I think I actually needed him to breath. He rolled us over so I was straddling his hips. I continued to roughly kiss him as his metal hand glided up my back reaching for the clasp of my bra. Pulling away from him I sat on top of him as my bra fell off leaving me completely bare chested. A groan passed his lips as he reached up and slowly started massaging my breast. I rolled my head back enjoying the feeling of his hands on my bare skin. He sat up and started kissing my collar bone with wet kisses and slowly started moving his lips down my breast until his tongue swirled around on of my nipples and I couldn’t help the moan that passed my lips.  
“Oh Bucky,” I sighed.  
Pulling his lips away from my skin he said, “we need to get the rest of our clothes off.”  
I took that as my cue to get off him and to lose my yellow undies. He pulled his boxer-briefs off and my eyes about bulged out of my head at the sight of his large erection springing free.  
“Do you have condom?” he asked as I stood next to my nightstand.  
I silently nodded my head and reached into the top draw an grabbed a row of three condoms. I hand them to him as he laid on the bed. Tearing the foil packet open with his teeth he made quick work of sliding the rubber on. I stood there with my eyes just locked on his naked body. I wasn’t the type of girl who slept with a guy on the first date, but I wanted this so badly I didn’t care what people would think if they found out.  
“Come here,” he said pulling me out of my thoughts.  
I didn’t say anything I just crawled back onto the bed and straddled his hips. I slowly sat up to line him up with my entrance. I slowly let him stretch me as I slid down his length. The moment he was fully in me I couldn’t help but gasp. Looking down at Bucky he bit his bottom lip and stared at me with a look of pure pleasure. Leaning forward I rested my hands on his strong chest and started moving. Each time I slid down his length he thrust his hips up to meet me. As we moved together I couldn’t help but moan. He felt so good I wasn’t normally person who was vocal during sex, but the feeling of him inside me had me wanting to scream his name.  
“Bucky,” I moaned as his hand came up and started playing with my clit as I kept sliding up an down him.  
“Come on baby girl,” he rasped as he continued to play with me.  
I got a few more thrust before I hit my high, I rolled my head back and moaned his name over and over again. I attempted to keep moving but wasn’t able to, Bucky flipped us over in on quick move and worked on quickly slamming his hips into mine about ten more times before he hit his high.  
Rolling off me we both laid on our backs trying to catch our breaths.  
“That was amazing,” he said looking over at me. I couldn’t help but smile at him as he leaned over and connected his lips to mine for a soft kiss.  
I didn’t say anything I just curled up next him and rested him head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me and held me close._  
–  
After we had finished cooking dinner Bucky was working to put our food on plates. I was grabbing us both something to drink when Bucky spoke up, “did you maybe want to sit on the couch after dinner and watch a movie together?”  
I was caught off guard by his request. “Yeah that would be great.”  
We started eating and I couldn’t help but keep looking up at Bucky. He seemed to be acting really different recently, and I don’t know if he just was starting to realize that I need him to be more then my roommate but I wasn’t exactly sure.  
“Do you remember our first date?” I asked for some reason. I guess I wanted to know if Bucky also thought about how things were in the beginning like I did.  
He took a bite of his food and gave me a confused look as he chewed his food. After swallowing his food, he said, “yeah I do sometimes. Why?”  
I shrugged my shoulders, “I don’t know I guess it’s because I think about it all the times.” I felt embarrassed that I was admitting this to him.  
“We had a great first date,” he smiled.  
“Yeah we did. I we were surprisingly honest with each other for a first date.”  
Sitting his fork down next to his plate he looked up at me with a pained look. “You’re one of the only people I have ever been that honest with. There was just something about you that I felt like I needed to know about my past.” He seemed to be being quite honest with me right now and it was catching me off guard.  
“It meant a lot to me that night and it still does that you trusted me to know that about you,” I said before taking the last bite of my dinner.  
“Let’s watch a movie,” he said changing the subject.  
That was the most I had gotten him to open up in a while so I knew I shouldn’t push it anymore then I had already had. I reminded myself that I was trying to take baby steps with him. If we pushed the envelope anymore we were going to take a step way bigger than a baby step.  
“You pick a movie, I’ll do the dishes really quickly,” I said as I stood up and grabbed our dishes and headed off towards the kitchen sink.  
The dishes didn’t take too long, and I told Bucky I was going to get dressed for bed really quickly. Once I was comfortable I walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch on the opposite side of Bucky. He clicked start on the movie and we sat there silently enjoying it.  
When the movie first started Bucky seemed very tense. I moved where I was laying on my side taking up more the half the couch. I tried to keep my feet away from Bucky, but he caught my off guard when he gently grabbed them and moved them to his lap. I glanced over at him and he was smiling while watching the movie. A few moments later I felt his hand slowly traveling up and down my calf aimlessly as his eyes were locked on the tv. I just smiled and continued to watch the movie.  
I only lasted about an hour into movie before I couldn’t hold my eyes open. I woke up still half asleep to the feeling of Bucky’s strong arms carrying me to bed. Gently he laid me down on my side of the bed. I stared at him through hooded eyes as covered my body with blankets. I wanted to tell him to get into bed, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. As I closed my eyes I heard his foot steps exit the room. Soon my eyes once again became to heavy to hold open.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on my tumblr and I decided to post it on here since links and tags are so messed up on tumblr.


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